Difference between domestic violence and abuse

Many people are confused with the differences between abuse and domestic violence. The strong similarities is why people get confused about the two. I’m going to break down both types of abuse to give you a better understanding on what’s what.

Criminaldefencelawyer.com says that abuse is very simple, it’s the mistreatment of another person physically, psychologically and or sexually. A abuse victim can be anyone children, the elderly, patient's, husband, wife, even pets. When it comes to abuse anyone in general can be a target for the abuse.

Domestic violence is abuse between intimate partners and or spouses. The individuals may be currently partners or been partners in the past. The partners don’t legally have to be married; it could also be a common law marriage.

The two types of abuse are alike because they’re both a form of abuse against another person.  These two types are commonly confused by most people.

Anybody can become a victim of either one. No matter the age, size, or gender you can become a victim of domestic violence or abuse.

HELPGUIDE.Org says “Domestic violence can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical."

image found at 

http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-31126339/stock-photo-domestic-violence-abuse-in-many-forms-background.html copyrighted 2003-2012 
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Interview with domestic violence victims

Since my last blog I interviewed four women. These women are strong, courageous, and beautiful. In the interview I asked them some very personal questions.I’m not going to reveal who these women are till the end of the blog. Throughout the blog as you read I hope you take their personal experiences to heart. Also at the end of this video I will link a short clip about domestic violence.

Interview one M.L
Q-When and where was you born?
A- I was born November 23, 1974 in Richlands Virginia.
Q-Was you ever a victim of domestic violence?
A-Yes I was.
Q-How old was you when the abuse started.
A-I was seventeen years old.
Q-About how long did it last?
A-About eight years.
Q-Did you ever try to leave, and if you did leave what would happen?
A-Yes I left several times. He would hunt me down and make me come back. Once I came back the the abuse would be worse.
Q-Was it hard to leave?
A- Extremely I had nowhere to go. One time I left and I ended up with a brokeback, broke jaw, and a busted ear drum.
Q-Did you ever feel like it was your fault?
A-He made me feel like everything was my fault.
Q-What finally motivated you to get out?
A-He began abusing my children and he began making them watch him abuse me.
Q-Do you still suffer from a lack of self esteem?
A- Yes it took me years to begin getting it back but, it's something that I will never fully regain.
Q-In all how do you feel now, are you happy?
A- I’m very happy and I love my life.

Interview two S.l
Q-Currently how old are?
A-I’m 21.
Q-How did it feel to watch your mother being abused?
A-It was sick and depressing. It made me feel sick.
Q-What do you remember most?
A-Him hitting her, choking her, throwing her down and out of moving vehicles.
Q-Do you remember be abused by your father?
A-Yes I remember it very well.
Q-Do you think going through this at a young age affects your relationships now, especially with men?
A- It does very much.

Interview three R.l
Q-How old are you?
A- I’m 19.
Q- Do you remember your mother being abused by your father?
A yes I do.
Q-Did you ever feel like it was your fault.
A-I’m not really sure. I was too young to remember.
Q-Do you remember being abused by your father.
A- I remember getting major spankings.

As you might have already guessed my blog was about my family. 
The three women I interviewed was my mother Misty and my two sisters Samantha and Rikki. Since I was a small child when this mostly occurred I don’t remember these events happening. But I do know I two also suffered at the hands of my father the same way my mother and sisters did. Personally I do not see my family and I as victims, but as survivors

My mother and I Photo by Bre  love.

Me and the man I call my  father. Photos by  Bre love.

Our family. photos by Bre Love.

My two sisters. photos by Bre Love.

  Domestic violence clip here. This is a short news segment talking about domestic and violence. In the clip two women share their tragic experiences.

Battered Women Syndrome

available at http://www.tower.com/battered-woman-syndrome-as-legal-defense-history-effectiveness-brenda-l-russell-paperback/wapi/116119204 copyrighted 2010

About twenty or more years ago a doctor Dr. Lenore E. Walker discovered a type of syndrome, known as Battered Woman Syndrome. In his recent studies he has found out that the syndrome is associated with post-traumatic stress disorder. Post-traumatic stress disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. It can occur after you’ve seen or experienced a traumatic event that involved the threat of injury or death. Therefore from this disorder comes Battered woman Syndrome.

Most people think this disorder is only for women because of the name. However this is untrue. It’s very common with men. This syndrome is also referred to as the Battered Person Syndrome. Since men do not usually come out when they are being abused Battered Man Syndrome is almost unheard of and very uncommon.

They’re several reasons why women and men develop this syndrome. Reasons such as the ones I will list below.  

• still being positively reinforced by the "honeymoon" phase of the battering cycle
• economic dependence upon the batterer
• belief that they can keep the peace
• fear of danger if she were to leave
• threats made by the batterer to hurt her or her children if she left
• loss of self-esteem
• depression or loss of psychological energy necessary to leave

According to Walker The Battered Woman Syndrome, “This syndrome has been used an as an explanation for reactions to abusive situations in court cases but has also been used as an educational tool in order to raise the awareness of the impact that domestic violence can have on women.”

What this is saying that in some situations when the victim lashes out and harms their abuser it’s caused from the syndrome. For example a woman’s charges were dropped from killing her husband because the doctors diagnosed her with Battered Women Syndrome.

Available at http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page4.htm copyrighted 2003

How to get help

Available at http://jerseynut.blogspot.com/2011/05/jews-and-barack-obama-battered-wife.html
copyrighted may, 23 2011


In this blog I’m going to explain how you can get help if you’re a victim of relationship abuse. Many people do not know the precautions to take when they are being abused. I believe if we teach people that they do have other options there will be less people falling victim to abuse.

In the beginning when you realize that your partner is starting to become “abusive” you first need to talk to somebody. A good person to discuss this with would be someone who is older and that your close too. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a family member ,It can be a friend or if you don’t feel comfortable discussing this with a friend or family member there are several hotlines you can call. Hotlines are numbers you can call and talk to people about your situation, you can remain strictly anonymous if you wish. The hotline will give you advice and other options.

The next step would be if you feel safe enough, discuss with your partner about how you feel. If your partner is open to you and doesn’t “harm” you when you talk to them about it. After you get them to open up to you about the matter easily slide in the topic of going to some kind of counseling for couples. If your partner is hostile then obviously there is no working it out or fixing the relationship. Then you need to get out of wherever you are and go somewhere that you will be safe.

If you have no one to turn to or a safe environment to go to a perfect place to go is a shelter. There are tons of shelters all over the U.S.. These shelters take in millions of women but sadly only a few men. A shelter usually gives you clothes if you need them, they will feed you,and give you a place to stay.

Since overcrowding has been taking place in the shelters of North Carolina, The United Family Services are building a new place in Charlotte. It will offer up to 80 beds and have material for people who will be staying for long term. The new building will accommodate to several of the peoples needs such as transportation and emergency needs.

I hope this will be helpful to anybody who is battling with an abusive relationship and do not know how to get out of it.

  


available at http://pagecountyblog.com/choices-for-men/ copyrighted 2010

Abuse in middle school

copyrighted 2009 available at http://www.creativeadawards.com/verbal-abuse-3/

In this blog I’m going to discuss abusive relationships between teens. I thought this would be a good topic to cover since most of my followers are teenagers. I hope in this blog that you will learn the importance of teen abuse. Further down in the blog I’ll cover some statics, ways to prevent abuse, and who to go to for help if you're being abused.


First I’m going to begin with middle schoolers.


azfamily.com reported that “1,500 middle school students showed that one in six had experienced dating violence in the last six months,The number percentage of middle schoolers being abused is steadily going up."


After reading this I was very surprised. I personally never thought about middle schoolers being in abusive relationships. At that age I was more worried about who was going to the movies that weekend.


To honest I can see why teens in middle school are targeted. Older people can manipulate them into going along with it. Younger teens probably enjoy the attention from the older person and go along with the abuse. What child isn’t really going to be scared going against an adult or older person? At a young age we are taught to listen to the adults and to trust most of them. I think when younger teens become “involved” with older people, they think that since their older they know what their doing and it must be ok if they say it is.


What middle schoolers should do if they become involved in a abusive relationship? If you are feeling uncomfortable and unsafe while dating someone you should tell somebody. You are in middle school they’re plenty of people willing to help you. The biggest question people like to bring up is what if they are to scared to speak up. Well, more parents need to discuss with their children and teens that if someone is hurting them they need to ask for help right away.


We really need to get the point across that they don’t have to be scared somebody can help them. You need to know that no matter what the circumstances are you can get some kind of help. I honestly think that if we start talking about abusive relationships with the younger population it might decrease the percentage of abuse in the long run.

Men being abused

 In this blog i’m going to discuss men being abused in a relationship. I honestly don’t think this topic is talked about enough. Why is that, why don’t we bring up men being abused? Well, in this next blog I hope I can answer your questions about men in abusive relationships. 
Some of the questions I will try to answer are how do they hide being abused, How does it affect them, and why do they put up with it. I do plan on covering some other material about abuse in this blog. But I’m mostly going to focus on the men.
When I began researching this topic I was shocked when I discovered that Denis Campbell said "about 40% of domestic violence victims are males." and is steadily increasing each year. I had no clue that the percentage would be so high. The main reason men being abused is less frequently talked about is because it’s mostly ignored by the police. When men report being abused by their spouse police take it very lightly. But when a woman is abused it’s a very serious matter, why is that?

The Observer said that “men are often treated as second-class victims.”  I also learned in this article that since most of the men's cases of abuse are ignored, the percentage could be higher. Another thing I discovered was that most men are reluctant to come out and report their abuse is because, they do not want to seem weak and unmanly.
Personally I think there should be battered shelters for men not just for women. We have all these places and assistance for abused women but nothing too big for men. I was very frustrated to learn that most shelters only let in a small number of men, but they accept a larger number of women.
Abuse is the same for men and women. It can be physical, emotional, and mental. No matter what your sexual orientation is. People are very close minded to this topic and it's extremely unfair to men.

Copyrighted January 23, 2012 http://www.jaguda.com/2012/01/23/men-get-abused-too-2/ 

I hope in this blog I was able to answer some of your questions. I’ve only scratched the service of men in abusive relationships. If you have any information please do not hesitate to share thanks!

First post

copyright 2011 available at http://www.survive-divorce.com/abusive_relationships.htm  abusive relationship 

I've decided to write about abusive relationships. I believe it’s an important topic that isn’t discussed enough with today’s youth. Teenagers need to know how to either prevent or get out of a abusive relationship.

I think that some teenagers don’t realize how big of a deal it really is. Maybe if more teens had a wider knowledge of the subject the percentage of abusive relationships would decrease. Of course abuse won’t just magically disappear but educating the younger population will hopefully make it less frequent.

In this blog I’m going to talk about many things such as, the different types of abuse, signs that your partner might become abusive, and how to get out of a abusive relationship. These are just a few things I will talk about in my blog. I plan on covering a lot of material in this blog.



What I hope for people to learn from this blog is that they do not deserve to be abused or how to prevent it. What you take from this blog is entirely up to you. If you don’t learn anything from this and see it as irrelevant at least you will know the severity of this topic.

I find this topic interesting because one it can happen to anyone at anytime. It doesn’t matter if your rich or poor it’s very possible for you to be abused. I also was surprised to learn that there are many different kinds of abuse. What I find very interesting is what people do when they are in a abusive relationship.

I also would like to add that all questions and comments related to the subject are much wanted. Your questions and comments will help me know if I’m getting the point across and if your understanding the material.

Well, that’s the end of today’s post. I will hopefully have the next one up soon!